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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Bittersweet Busy-ness

Once a year we have certain dates we mark off: Christmas, birthdays and other special days we deem important like Valentine’s or Sweetest Day. Then we also set time aside for weddings and funerals – those are the things we’re obligated to attend. Sometimes in our mad little rush of making a living, we forget about those other days in between.

Mothers need to connect with other mothers on a regular basis and not just at a birthday party or latchkey pickup. A generation ago, mothers had support. Less mothers worked outside the home. They lived in neighborhoods that focused on raising children and doing everything together as a family.

Today, neighborhoods spread across the gamut because we work downtown, take kids to school in Southfield, live on the eastside and go to church on the Westside and have friends all over the map.

No one has a simple life anymore. My mother and her friends don’t understand.   “You seem so stressed?”  I tell them my life resembles “I love Lucy” only this Lucy works two jobs with more demands on her time.  And Ethel is nowhere around – she’s trying create her dream life too. Our comic relief looking at each other with that look that says, “Girl, me too.”

The information age has turned into information overload.  Forty years ago our options were simpler and friends lived closer.  With less to do and more people readily available in a support network, life was different back then.  Television was a main staple with only four or so stations. Now, we have the hundreds of channels and the endless Internet and computer games to entertain us. Too many choices.

With more opportunity comes more responsibility – which equals less time. And sure, there’s more stress.  This is the most remarkable time in history – we’re living like the “Jetsons.” What’s lacking are those friends and/or family that help us connect the dots of our lives and create a climate of balance.

Everyone needs a friend to pull you out of a pit or to cheer you across the finish line.  I have had friends who have encouraged me to do an outburst of things I would’ve never done on my own – with success.  Then I have friends that know just when to hand me a box of Kleenex.  But the main thing I love my friends for is their conversation, companionship and commitment to God and each other.

Creating balance means connecting with others. Women are natural communicators.  We love to express our thoughts, feelings, revelations, insights, hurts, hopes and desires.  If I don’t regularly express myself, my “inbox” overflows and I feel like I am about to explode. We all need friends who we share our lives with – what good are blessings if they’re not shared?  How can a burden be lighter, if it’s not lifted together?  God created us to need each other. 

Those myriad of  mommy’s who work full-time outside a home, run a business on the side, raise and family and try to still look attractive and be a good wife, mother, daughter and friend run into stress. 

TAZ moms who don’t have time to make a phone call or send a birthday card aren’t mean and uncaring.  They just simply need support – not criticism. 

If more of us would give time more to others, we’d have more people that would help us manage and balance our busy lives.  We do reap what we sow.  If we find ourselves lonely with no support, chances are we have not taken the time to “show ourselves friendly” to others.  

Friendship is a sweet responsibility.  It demands time to be kind. Share this post with YOUR friends. 

Can you relate to this your comments.

Pam Perry, PR Coach & Social Media Strategist

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